Thursday, May 14, 2009

Introduction - In My Voice

I want to dedicate my voice to Bill Stillman and Mary Lapos because without them I never would have found it.

My name is Michael and I am an Autist. I have spent most of my life trying to decide what that meant. Is autism who you are or a disability you experience. Autism is a different way of being. My autism is what I want to talk about. Each Autist has their own unique reality , but there are shared experiences throughout, especially as to different types of underlying problems. My autism is sensory based. I began as a multi-single modal child. Some of my senses don’t function properly within themselves. Most did not function in conjunction with other senses. The result is a physical world that makes no sense and can not be interpreted as meaningful experience. I am choosing to speak out because I can where others can’t. Most with my severity of symptoms never make it into the world at all. We are the Helen Kellers of autism, likely labeled severely and profoundly retarded; suggested institutionalized at outset. This was my diagnosis.

It is clear to me that the normal person’s senses function very differently from mine. At the same time, never having had a normal system, it is difficult to know exactly what those differences are. I think I will need to leave it up to you, my reader, to draw your own comparisons and conclusions. My system has also changed and evolved over time. Without those changes, I would not be functioning today. Some changes, I know how they developed; others, just appeared. I will try to speak to both.

This blog may benefit no one, some one, or a lot of people. My thought is to speak to my own autism in hopes that others may find glimpses of thoses they know inside. Tiny keys to understanding is what I hope to offer, each key unlocking one more chain of autism.

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