Friday, November 23, 2012

A Letter to Parents from an Autistic Child

    Today you learned your child is autistic.  He or she is the same child you loved yesterday, the same child you will love tomorrow.  Remember that in all things autism.  Be careful the autism does not become your identitiy.  Only your child can decide if it is their identity, whether it is who they are.  Your acceptance is everything.
     Acceptance is not idle.  It strives to meet potential without equating potential to a modification of soul.  To cope, adapt and circumvent, is different than to change underlying nature.  To have your child fake response and personhood is a fate worse than autism.  It hides them from both others and themself.  Becoming neurotypical is a common goal for parents of aspies and autistics.  It is by far the most damaging thing you can do to us. 
     I understand your reluctance to embrace autism, but don't turn it into a reluctance to embrace your child.  Acceptance is the most important component of treatment.
     I live and love even as an autist.


  1. Your words represent the lesson that I understand but I am not able to use yet in my life.I know that this is the right way for my boy, but I am lost after so much unrest, anxiety and desire to do everything for his recovery. It is time for acceptance and joy, he is ready, but i am not.He is 6 and in therapy since the age of 2 and a half and is quite a smart boy now.
    Thank you for this piece of wisdom and for the part of your soul that you are sharing with us.
    Mother of D.

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