The music blasts. My senses absorb the sound as a life unto itself. Loud, vibrant, alive it is. For me, it is a window of escape from my monotonous life. What does a dead body do to feel life? Each moment is an excruciating eon of time with far too many short lapses from boredom. To live, you need to experience in doing mode. I am an observer of life, too affected to participate in any but the the most mundane of activities. To play a game of ball, or run a marathon, or do one of any number of physical activities is beyond my motor abilities, so I sit and picture myself doing them in my mind. Autism can be a cruel lifemate and I am feeling sorry for myself today. Tomorrow will be better.
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