Happenings are relatively rare for me so I have to find pleasure in the mundane - food is one example. Tonight I pleasured on Rice Krispie treats. Tomorrow it will be something else. Small things are huge to me. Not so different a theme from my senses. Everything is larger in my autism. I "wait" as a torture, like sitting in a traffic jam on the way to something wonderful it is. The frustration it causes is almost overwhelming. At times it seems to breathe for me, taking over all bodily function. I force the air through at slower pace. I hear the command to "take deep breaths." "Only a moment at a time" asks my heart. Its steady beat reassures me time is not standing still. It keeps me from self-destructing in overload. Time passes and my reward follows. So what you ask is so monumental to me? - waiting on my morning coffee.
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