Motor Response and Skill Knowledge
My body works is hard to describe because it changes day to day, sometimes minute to minute. I carry my string in my pocket now a lot. I don’t need it to tell me I exist anymore. The earth beneath my feet I register now. Feeling my body in space comes in bits, especially in water. Last week I just lay on top of the water enjoying it. Hot water makes me feel me more, but cold water is better to start movement. Feeling and moving must be two different things. I have trouble keeping track of movement, not just where I am, but the doing itself. To feel my arms I lose track of my legs. To kick and move my arms is impossible for me to keep up in the pool. Only Mom counting strokes helps sometimes. It is like she does one and I do the other then. Doing movement is different than monitoring it. Just doing is hard. To have to coordinate the top and bottom is impossible for me right now. My body needs to be the same on both sides to feel right. When I was little, I had to have one of the same thing in each hand and do half and half each side of my body to feel balanced. To an outsider it might be viewed as a compulsion, but for me it was literally a matter of balance. How would you feel to walk around with one shoe on and one shoe off. It is a bit like that.
When people look at an autistic child they look at what he can and can’t do. Sometimes the cans and can’ts fluctuate. The body resources I have to work with can literally change. You would not try to do a detailed analysis while very tired. For me, life is a detailed analysis. Sometimes our systems are just tired. Insisting on repetitive performance is not always the best measure of acquisition of concept. Motor response is not an accurate predictor of skill knowledge. It just tests motor movement response to skill knowledge.
Let your heart lead you in your teaching. If you think there is something to be learned in offering the information, even with the lack of verifiable learning through performance of skill, do it. You never know what is being taken in by the mind. Long after, you may see it revealed. Exposure can’t hurt and it may very well help.
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